Kids have always been at the heart of life for Tracey Matthews and partner Nigel, from Plumpton, Western Sydney, who brought together a blended family of five children when they met fifteen years ago.
“I had one child of my own and always wanted more, little did I know that I’d take on another four kids at once when Nigel and I got together,” laughs Tracey.
For as long as she can remember, Tracey wanted to be a foster carer when her kids got older.
"I had close friends who were foster carers with MacKillop and I learned a lot about what was involved through them and knew it was something I could do."
Nigel and I talked about foster care and did some research. We are both great with kids and knew that we would be able to provide a safe and happy home, so we did the training, received accreditation and committed to providing short-term, respite or emergency care for families who needed it.
Shortly after they became foster carers, three-year-old Charlie* came into their lives as an emergency placement.
“Mum was incarcerated at the time and Dad was dealing with his own mental health issues. There was no extended family around, so Charlie came to stay with us until things were sorted out.
“When it became clear that Charlie would be unable to stay with either of his parents, we didn’t like the idea of him going from placement to placement until a stable home could be found for him, so we changed our status to be long-term foster carers and he was able to stay with us.”
Charlie very quickly settled in and enjoyed being the centre of attention of all his older brothers and sisters, who helped take him to soccer and swimming lessons. Although Tracey and Nigel ensured that Charlie maintained a relationship with his parents and extended family, it became clear that he would not be able to return to live with his parents.
“Two and a half years ago, we started the process of going for guardianship, which came through a couple of months ago,” Tracey said. “Charlie knew all about us going for guardianship. After watching the American movie, ‘Instant Family’, he started planning a massive party to celebrate guardianship coming through! Unfortunately, we’ve had to postpone a few times due to COVID lockdowns as he wants to make sure that all our kids are there and as some live in other parts of NSW, it’s been difficult to get everyone together. It will be one very big celebration, once this is all over,” laughs Tracey.
Charlie continues to have a great relationship with his Mum and Dad. While his Mum was in prison, Tracey would take him there for supervised visits to maintain their connection. Mum and Dad are back together again, but they both agree that Charlie is happy with Tracey and Nigel and they supported the guardianship decision.
“We are humbled by the trust Charlie’s parents have placed in us to do the right thing by Charlie and them.
We understand how important it is for Charlie to maintain contact with his family, but also to have the stability of his life with us. His parents come to his birthday parties and we meet at the zoo, where he loves to walk around, telling everyone about the animals.
“Charlie loves his Mum and Dad and looks forward to their visits and he loves feeling safe, secure and supported by us – it’s the best of both worlds really.”
Charlie’s grandparents live in New Zealand and he has a great relationship with them, talking via skype a couple of times a month. They have visited Charlie in Sydney and Tracey and Nigel took Charlie to New Zealand, where he met his extended family and travelled around the area, hearing many stories of his culture from Grandad. “It was wonderful to see Charlie begin to make that deep connection to his culture and community and we do everything we can to support that to develop and grow.”
Tracey says “Charlie is a joy. He is a typical 10 year old, loves his soccer, is a great swimmer and loves riding his BMX with his friends. He especially loved watching the BMX trials at the Olympics. He has grown up with his big brothers and sisters and it is wonderful for him to have so many others in his life who he can trust and who he knows love him and care for him.
“When I look back to the shy and quiet little three year old who came into our lives all those years ago, it makes me so proud to have played a part in supporting him to be the confident, cheeky and happy little boy who will always be with us. Giving him this security has been worth every minute of the paperwork and process we had to go through for guardianship.”
*Name change to protect privacy