Foster carers Carryn and Matt have helped children and young people in their care maintain a connection to their culture.
‘Cultivate a heart that blooms in all seasons’ reads a Chinese calligraphic print in the home of
foster carers Carryn Chan and Matt Feray. “When I see it each day, it encourages me to be positive,” says Carryn who grew up in Taiwan.
She treasures this link to her culture, and applies this awareness to children in their care. She appreciates how community and cultural connection is emphasised in MacKillop Family Services’ training and support.
Matt and Carryn—an IT consultant and scientist respectively—are approved for long-term care but have begun with four short-term placements. They’ve done their best each time to connect the child with their own culture, taking them to cultural events and cooking what they’re used to, particularly when the child first arrives.
“The first night is difficult for them, and sometimes they don’t sleep or eat. So we ask what they’d like to have for dinner. Having food they are familiar with helps them relax,” says Carryn.
As a strategy to welcome the new arrival, they allow the child some space and time to settle in. “Imagine what it must feel like for them,” Matt says earnestly. “You’re a child, taken to the home of people you don’t know, and told they’re going to look after you for a while. The family may be welcoming, but you still feel a stranger in a strange house. Everything that’s familiar to you–especially your family–seems far away.
“So what we do first is show them around our house, especially the room where they will sleep. The room represents safety, somewhere they can do their own thing without interruption from anyone. It’s their own space.
“We encourage the child to stay in their room, unpack and relax a little. When they’re calm and feeling better, they come out and find us, and then it’s time to share a meal.”
Living cross-culturally comes naturally to the couple. “One thing we do with our son is try to blend Asian and European influences,” says Matt. “They complement each other in our home. For instance, we celebrate Chinese New Year as well as Christmas and Easter.”
Asked to explain the strengths of the two cultures, Matt and Carryn interestingly chose to explain their partner’s: “The importance of family, and care for elders, really stand out for me out about Asian cultures,” says Matt. “I’ve also learned to appreciate the value they place on hygiene–for example, not walking into the home with footwear you’ve used outside. I observe this myself now,” he smiles.
“I like how the French are less conservative,” Carryn responds appreciatively, “and are more open in areas like letting a child choose a career for themselves.”
“Apart from our two cultures we have also lived in different countries, so there are a few influences we draw from,” adds Carryn. “Making cultures blend and fit. This is the approach we take at home, and with the children we foster.”
With this open attitude, Matt and Carryn encourage others to become foster carers and to welcome children from a different community. “This is actually a great opportunity to learn from them,” says Matt. “And it’s also a chance to share your own culture!”
Children and young people in care who can learn about and maintain a connection to their culture, language and community develop a better sense of belonging and identity. Having more carers from Australia’s diverse cultures helps to make this a reality, and that’s why MacKillop welcomes adults from all cultural backgrounds to become foster carers.
“Sharing in a child’s culture and showing an interest in their background helps them settle and feel more welcomed,” says Carryn. “What’s more important, though, is how you care for them,” she smiles. “It’s about your patience and calmness.”
If you would like to provide a safe, caring and welcoming home to children temporarily unable to live with their families, read more here or call 1300 791 677.
Meet Carryn and MacKillop staff in this video (Mandarin) shown on SBS Chinese. Please share it, and this article and podcast in Cantonese with anyone who would like to know more about foster care discussed in Chinese.
