Content warning: the following story includes references to self-harm
Vanessa’s* abusive childhood left her with deep emotional scars. She was made to believe that she didn’t deserve protection, care, or love. She suffered so badly, her behaviour began spiralling out of control.
Residential Care Coordinator, Gemma, remembers when Vanessa came to MacKillop she was considered one of the most high risk young people in Victoria: “She came to us with extreme self-harming behaviours and was quite aggressive. No other services were able to help with her complex behaviours.”
Vanessa was aggressive towards staff because she was afraid of adults hurting her the way her dad had hurt her. She felt most unsafe at night and refused to sleep in her bedroom because of the painful memories it brought up for her. Vanessa also felt unsafe around adult men because of her experiences with her father, and the abuse he had inflicted on her.
As Vanessa’s bedroom was a trigger for her, Gemma suggested the two of them make it a space where she could feel comfortable. They emptied her room, gave it a fresh coat of paint, and Vanessa was told she could decorate it however she wanted. She bought new doonas and sheets in colours she liked, paintings and dream catchers that showed off her personality, and night lights and soft toys to help her feel safe.
Gemma also focused on creating fun and positive experiences between Vanessa and male staff members. They took her to theme parks and played board games with her and she learned that she could feel safe around them.
With Gemma’s help, Vanessa was able to develop her safety plan which helped her stop resorting to unsafe behaviours when she felt overwhelmed. She was supported to access additional mental health services to better manage her mental illness.
Gemma acknowledges what a long way Vanessa has come, with their support.
Her level of trust has improved. She’s kinder and more empathetic. The frequency of her self-harming has reduced and she’s shown incredible resilience and tolerance. She’s come a long way and we’re all very hopeful for her future.
Gemma and the team showed Vanessa that she was worthy of love, care, and support. Vanessa has learned to trust again, she has learned how to control her emotions when she feels overwhelmed, and, most importantly, she has learned she is important and that she matters.
The great strides Vanessa has made meant she could go back to school for her final year of high school. Her dream is to one day have a job where she gets to work with animals. Vanessa was thrilled when her support team arranged a work experience placement for her at a doggy daycare. She loves it so much and is learning skills that will set her up for success in her future.
The support Vanessa received at a critical time has helped her find joy in her life once more.
*Name changed and stock image used to protect privacy