With boundless love, enthusiasm and good humour, foster carer Ngahuia and her wife Pania, have established a happy family home in the Blue Mountains region of New South Wales.
Ngahuia describes how their lives have changed since deciding to become foster carers ten years ago.
“We thought we would be caring for one child on a short-term basis when we both worked full -time, lived in Sydney and started out as carers, but we soon realised that kids needing safe homes come in all ages, abilities, personality types and with a huge variety of backgrounds,” said Ngahuia.
The couple moved to the Blue Mountains, steadily increased the size of their home and now care for five children and young people, including Guardianship of a ten-year-old who came to stay with them as a baby. In total they have 10 children who are biological, adopted, Guardianship and fostered.
“Our home has an open door policy. We have been lucky to develop great relationships with some of our kids’ birth families. One of our little boys has significant health issues and physical disabilities. Over the years, we have grown to know his birth mum and extended family very well. Members of his family belong to the Stolen Generation and it is essential that he remains connected to his culture and community; Pania and I are committed to supporting that.
“Our two families work together and we have developed a beautiful, supportive relationship which puts the best interests of the child first and foremost. We feel privileged that the family trust us and we involve them in everything we do, we all love him.”
Ngahuia knows it is not always possible to collaborate with families and adds that some of the young people who live with do not interact with their families.
“The kids and young people who live with us know that we’ve got their backs and are there for them. We’ve gone through the adoption process with one of our kids when he aged out at 18, all our kids know that we will continue to support them which gives them an incredible sense of family and security.”
Ngahuia and Pania fiercely advocate for the wellbeing of not just the young people they support, but for all young people in the care system, especially those within the LBGTIQ+ community.
Pania and I are reasonably visible within our local community and it is great for young people within the LGBTIQ+ community in our area to see us, two ordinary suburban mums with our big brood of kids from different cultures out and about just doing ordinary things
Ngahuia adds. “We understand what it is like to feel different. You are who you are and it is hard enough to not be able to live with your family, so for young people in care who are discovering their identity, there are a lot of questions and confusion. We know where to get help and resources and we’ve helped other foster carers to support their young LGBTIQ+ people to get answers and information.”
The couple feel lucky to be part of a supportive foster care community who meet up regularly for an opportunity to relax while the kids get to socialise together.
“Over the years, we’ve persuaded many friends and family to become foster carers. I’m passionate about talking to people I meet about foster care and letting them know that there’s a huge need for more foster carers. I’m still surprised when people tell me it’s something they’ve never thought about. We’ve seen how a safe, loving home can change a kid’s life and I want that for every child who is unable to live safely with their own family,” Ngahuia added.
